How To Ask For What You Want (And Get It!)

In the captivating art of communication, assumptions are the wallflowers that hinder the rhythm. Complaining about unmet needs or exp....


1/6/20243 min read

Ever catch yourself in a swirl of frustration, wishing folks could just get what you need without a memo? We've all been there – feeling a bit underappreciated, maybe overwhelmed, and longing for others to see things our way. But hey, let's spill the tea: people won't always prioritize our needs as much as we do.

Here’s the scoop: when our desires are on the backburner, it's time to talk it out. We often forget to dive into those necessary convos that can bring the change we crave. So, let's turn the tables! It's okay to want our time, contributions, and opinions to sparkle in the spotlight. Ready to rock those conversations and make your needs known?

Speak Up, Darling! Don’t Assume Others Are Mind Readers

In the captivating art of communication, assumptions are the wallflowers that hinder the rhythm. Complaining about unmet needs or expecting colleagues, friends, or partners to decipher your unspoken desires is a recipe for disappointment. Instead, embrace the power of assertiveness. Clearly express what you want – whether it's improved communication at work or recognition of your capabilities for a senior role. Thriving relationships demand that both parties take responsibility for vocalizing their needs, making communication a melody of shared understanding.

Be Audacious in Your Asks – No Dilution Allowed!

In the grand symphony of negotiations, courage is the conductor. The reality is simple: you will rarely receive more than the audacity of your ask. Don't water down your requests out of fear of rejection. Instead, channel your inner confidence. Whether seeking a pay raise or a coveted corner office, the boldness of your request often determines the richness of the outcome. It's not entitlement; it's a self-aware acknowledgment of your inherent value.

Specify What You Want and When – No Ambiguity Allowed!

In the great world, the biggest reason for unmet expectations is the lack of clear instructions. To ensure your requests land gracefully, clarity is paramount. Clearly define not just what you want but precisely when you want it. This strategic choreography, involving a clear "what" and "when," ensures everyone is in sync, transforming your place into a harmonious performance.

Define Your Boundaries – Make It Clear What You Won’t Tolerate

Life's stage is set by the boundaries you establish. Your requests hold the power to eliminate tolerations and shape your interpersonal landscape. Express your expectations boldly, whether it's requesting punctuality or demanding respect in the workplace. The daily script of your actions communicates to others how you wish to be treated. Setting clear boundaries is not just crucial for professional success; it's an essential act of self-care that nurtures personal well-being.

No More Hints – Be Direct and Fabulous!

Hints are the silent whispers lost in the chatter of life's orchestra. For those who prefer a less confrontational route, here's a wake-up call: hints don't cut it. Subtle comments to a group lack the impact of directness. To orchestrate change effectively, muster the courage to speak directly to the source. Whether addressing workplace issues or navigating personal frustrations, directness ensures that your desires are heard loud and clear.

Ditch the Martyr Act – Your Needs Matter Too!

In the grand narrative of life, the martyr role is an outdated script that does no favors for anyone, especially not for women. Guilt should have no place when prioritizing your needs. Juggling multiple roles and trying to be everything to everyone often leads to burnout. It's not selfish to elevate your needs on the priority list; it's an intelligent act of self-preservation. Enough with the guilt-driven martyr act – your needs matter, and recognizing this is the first step to being a more effective force in both personal and professional spheres.

'No' Doesn’t Define You – Accept and Move On!

In life's repertoire, rejection is but a passing note in the grand composition. Your boss may not grant that sought-after promotion, and your parents might not readily agree to babysit every weekend. A 'no' is not a rejection of your worth or capabilities. Accept it gracefully, understanding that it simply clarifies where things stand. This gracious acceptance allows you to pivot and plan for the next act in your extraordinary journey, ensuring that 'no' is merely a stepping stone to a more fitting 'yes.'

Asking for less than you really want – from yourself, from others and from life - doesn’t serve anyone. So I dare you – try asking for what you really want. Who knows… you might just get it!


Ladies, unleash your inner power! Embrace these keys to navigate life's demands with grace. Speak up, ask boldly, and set clear boundaries. Forget hints; be direct and fabulous. Ditch the guilt, prioritize yourself, and remember your needs matter. Rejections? They're merely plot twists in your story. Life's grand performance is yours to command.

So, Blushes, step into your spotlight, make your requests, and play through each scene of your fabulous journey. The world is your stage, and you've got the leading role. Now, go out there and own it with audacity, confidence, and unapologetic brilliance!